Murard Tecsergyn

"I'm trying to sleep. I really am- But I'm not ready for it to be tomorrow yet" -Not yet. More junk
.*Forehead to hands*
*sigh*

So I'll be going to work this morning. And there was some talk of going out for lunch. Which is good.
Very last day of camp class, but we still have four performances we'll need to get through before we can all stop holding out breathes.
*Sigh*

Uhm, it's not really night so I don't know if you could call this a late night snack...but it's an...afternoon munchie?

Darcy, ya think that If i gave you a list of songs you could put them on a CD for me?

*Dabble Dabble*
I have to go get a shot tomorrow. Really early. Blah.
for anyone who's insterested Newest Junk.

"You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love

The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?

These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?
'Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be

The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our fire fight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand'
Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here

The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between..."
-Dave Mathews Band (Space between)

Just thought this song was better then any post.
*beahub*

This may have something to do with the fact that it's late, and i'm very very tired.
Never the less...For those of you who sre still up i've got a little Late night snack.

                        -Sound Track of my life survey-
Opening credits: "Meet Varginia", Train
Waking-up scene: "No such thing", John Mayer
Average-day scene: "Save tonight", Eagle eyed-cherry
Happy dance scene: "Cold hard bitch", Jet
Falling-in-lust scene: "I like", Kayt Rose
Falling-in-love scene: "Everwhere", Michelle Branche
Love scene: "Hands clean", Alanis Morissette
Regret scene: "Who will save your soul", Jewel
Break-up scene: "Remember my markings", James William Hindle
Long-night-alone scene: "Grace is gone", Dave Mathews Band
Mental-breakdown scene: "Drive", Incubus
Lesson-learning scene: "Wake up", Three Days Grace
Driving scene: "Memory", Sugarcult
Deep-thought scene: "Long day", Matchbox20
Get-back-together scene: "I'll be there", GreenDay
"Life's okay" scene: "Time of your life", GreenDay
Closing credits: "Float on", Modest mouse

I actually put quite a lot of thought into this survey

Darcy, i'm not sure if you check my blog or not- But in the event that you are reading this I won't need a ride to class tomorrow morning. Graci'.

Echkah, Kayt just called.
I feel sick.
Not in the "I have a cold" type of way. But in the "I've probably eaten something very rotten and it's tearing my stomach apart." Type of way.

Mommy and Rainy, and Wesley went to go play tennis. I'm going up to Barnes&Nobles.
*Ah....Pain*

For some reason, over the past couple days, I've been getting really nauseous. I'm sure it has something to do with the wired eating habits I've picked up lately.

The weather has been nice, and I took myself up to the track this morning. Decided not to go to church.
I'm feeling really tired...And a bit Lazy.

I need to call Kayt about going o Barnes&Nobles t'day, and I need to call Matt again.

 

 

*Yawn*
I need to start getting to bed earlier.

Kayt and I just spent 6 straight hours at Barnes&Nobles. *Blehheh* That's almost a record for us...

So today- Yeah.
the mime perfromance actually went very well, and I'm super proud of our new mimes.
Jan was really hungry afterward and decided to take us (Me, Rory, and her granddaughter, Katie) out to eat. UGHer, for some reason I've been getting car sick lately and didn't feel like eating, but there was lots of enjoyable conversation.
Apparently I'm up for an award at Harlequins (For a bit part I played in Isn't it romantic...You can read about it if you go back to February....), and because I'm the only one in the category...I'll be winning the award. *Knocks on wood*...*Glows with pride* even if it is just for playing a mime, it's an award none the less.
Oh. Got a good portion straightedn out about ANNE FRANK, too. (Need to call Matt back.) Actually, I think I got all I needed to know for now figured out, and I feel much better.

Got dropped off and made myself some oatmeal. And eggs. Eh hehe. Then called Kayt and some how we decided to go to Barnes&Nobles and write/read and stuff.

Actually did quite a bit of reading. (I love STEVEN KING.) I also started back in on my ANNE FRANK script. I think this will be my third time to have read through it. Also started working on a short story with Kayt. It's very pretty so far...But we didn't get too far, and probably will always be slow whenever writing together. (Simply because we feel the need to stop and check every though out with the other. Which is not bad, it just leads to lotz of side conversation.) We plan to go back tomorrow and finish it...SO it should be posted sometime soon.

Now I'm home, and actually only got here about 15 minutes ago. No Clue where Wesley and Mommy are...Or Lorraine. Actually, this is kind of weird. 

~
Kayt and I are going to Barnes&Nobles. Needlessly said that between the two of us great amounts of fun will be had.

Did I mention that Peter wrote me an e-mail?
Maybe I can convince him to come to the ANNE FRANK auditions if Jan wont cast Matt.

Speaking of Jan, I'm actually waiting for her to come pick me up (With Rory) and go to the mime performance thingy today. Luckily the 2 o clock show has been canceled, meaning we won't have to to be there for 4 hours. On the other hand, this leaves me with really, nothing to do today since I turned down all other plans for the day because I thought I would be gone. Damn.

In any event.  Need to get some things straighten out about ANNE FRANK today. Ahp. Wish me luck.

Ah. The wonderful scent of rain at 1 a.m in the morning. I am NEVER going to wake up for mime tomorrow.
But aside from that-
The real reason I'm here is because I've come up with a new scribble to add to the newly forming pile...
Or here's the direct link.

So just called Venessa and Alex. About mime.
Uh, had more to say but forgot. It's been that kind of day.

"I stop to catch my breath 
And I stop to catch your eye
No need to second guess 
That you've been on my mind
I dream days away, but that's okay -
It's like I want to hear a silent sound
 And then hold it in my hand
But a rose won't blossom from a ground
Of desert sand, but I like to pretend that

One day I'll turn around
I'll see your hand reach out
I'm only fooling myself,
But maybe when you smile
It means you'd stay awhile
Just maybe you'd save me now - Save me now

Well, now it's etched in stone
That I can't survive alone
You have the missing piece
That I need so desperately
Yes, I slip away to a day that'll never come
It's like a splash of water to my face 
When I suddenly realize
That you could never find a place
For me in your eyes, and I don't know why I keep thinking

One day I'll turn around 
I'll see your hand reach out
I'm only fooling myself, 
But maybe when you smile
It means you'd stay awhile
Just maybe you'd save me now - Save me now

It's love in disguise
I've lost track of time
I'm lost in your eyes
And I don't know why I think that

One day I'll turn around
I'll see your hand reach out
I'm only fooling myself,
But maybe when you smile
It means you'd stay awhile
Just maybe you'd save me now - Save me now
Just maybe you'd save me now"
-Only Fooling Myself (Kate Voegele)

Life is Oddly beautiful when it's so chaotic.
I'm only folling myself...

mmmmmm.
Mommy decided to completely flip out on Lorraine and me and it has only left me in a bad mood.
Ugh. I don't want to go to class.
I want to go back to bed.
Blah.

Whits Birthday is this Saturday. He's invited me, only I can't go due to mime performances.

"Sofia, this is what happens when you get too wrapped up on stage, and do nothing be theater. Before you know it you'll be a bitter old lady with nothing but a box of stage make-up and a cat!"
-Sophia (In an attempt to make me feel bad about not being able to go to Whits party)

I think I should mention that I didn't go to class this morning. I'm still not sure that I want to go tomorrow, but if I decided that me being there is incredibly useless then I can decide on sleeping in again next week. *Sigh*

Just a side note: Tristan picked me up today and didn't drop me. That was fun.

Ah, so if you will now pay attention to the new scribblings link on my side bar...
I dunno.
I thought the new page was rather spiffy.
Still haven't figured it all out yet, though.

SUCCESS!
Will now be able to continue writing SHERO.

I'm very glad you liked my short story Kayt! ^_^ It makes me feel goo to hear you say that.

I say we go to Barnes&Nobles and write some junk. Behe. We haven't done that since last summer!

It's no surprise to me that I've finally gotten around to wanting to write stories again, but all that I keep scribbling down has nothing to do with GRACEY. This upsets me. *Needs inspiration* However, I have managed to scribble down parts of one short story that I've been playing with in my head, and it still pisses me off that I have no appropriate place to post all of it, or more of it. *Needs better short story scribbling page*. But I guess it's become very obvious to me that I will not be sleeping tonight and, instead, am going to bubble around on the internet. This is bad because I should go to bed. *Needs sleep* 

Ended up going to class this morning. Which is good because I got out of going to Dr.Richmonds, which I am thrilled about, because it's all very boring and pointless to me. Now, I have to figure a way to dodge going next week too. *Needs a plan*
Austin is back in class. At most I can say he approves of the script Darcy and I were able to come up with, and there was no fatal struggle to get him to be the Narrator...However, his return leaves me feeling rather useless. Ah- To the best of my knowledge the show will be blocked tomorrow...
On this same note, Darcy- I won't be needing a ride to class tomorrow, in the event you don't read this in time...I will call? (I would call now, but it's possible you're asleep- And we both know that if someone spends all day at the Playhouse...We should just let them sleep.)
I will be in class tomorrow...Just...Later

It's become incredibly obvious that I should go 2 sleep, but I don't want to. I'm craving pancakes. I know this is bad because it's almost mid-night...But if I could get a hold of Someone with a car...*COUGH* Peter*Cough* I could very easily go out for breakfast tomorrow morning...
On the other hand it's very creepy that I'm thinking about this all so very late at night.


Damn. It is bloody hot. And Humid. And hot. *Needs a/c* Mom doesn't want me to turn it on (the a/c, in case you missed it). And even though she's asleep at the moment, as soon as she wakes up she would know it was me who turned it on...And then I would have the wrath of mummy to fear.

Ah.
*Sigh*

I want to go to Barnes&Nobles. *Wants to go to Barnes&Nobles*

Quick over veiw of the day:

Morning. no clothes. Kids'n'co t-shirt. Late start.
Sleep. Couch. Bad mood. Not good.
Carol brought props. Darcy, Frencesca, and I dyed Oswald in tea/Coffee.
Script. Darcy and I. The king agrees.
Party. Kayt's. 14.
Austin comes back tomorrow. This means very much a lack of Jeremy....But A much less lack of Austin...? We think.
(I relaize all of this makes very little sense. Just go with it.)

 
Ah... Yes.

*Crash in the kitchen*
It would not be a Barrera Rojas party if something didn't break.

As for me I just got back from walking. I hurt. Very. Badly.
I guess it goes to show that if your going to do something intense to your muscles you shouldn't try to rip right into it, especially if you've not been walking regularly for the past couple weeks. *Stupid friggin heat*
In other news
-
I'm in a very good mood t'day. I've had some very reassuring talks, and over all feel happy
*knocks on wood*
For now.

                                          :: Pahdduder ::
 
A small black bug found it's way through my bathroom window and on to my sink last night while I was brushing my teeth. Once this bug had landed on my sink it found a way to flip itself on to it's back and began to struggle madly in an attempt to flip itself back over. I, being momentarily amused at this, watched it for a second, got bored, and continued to brush my teeth, eventually leaving the bathroom without giving this bug another glance. -
Well, t'night I have found that same bug still flipped upside on it's back - only it's much less alive then it was last night. In fact one could almost say it's dead. Interesting. After a full night of struggling to rectify a situation this bug has died trying to attempt to fix something it never saw coming in the first place.
I have decided to take pity on this bug, because I often find myself in similar situations.
-
However, by doing so...I'm pretty sure I've gone completely insane. And this is bad because I have to go to work tomorrow.

Just gotta do it. Just gotta do it.
 
*Picks up phone*
No! Can't!
 
*Slams phone down*
Just gotta do it. Just gotta do it.
 
*Picks up phone*
*Long pause *
*Puts phone down*
 Can't do it. Can't do it....
But Have to...
Can't, but have to.
Have to. Have to.
 
*Picks up phone* ....

                        (Look! My post is blue! *Whee*)
 
 
^_^I love driving.
Went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast this morning after church. Then went to pick up Wesley. I've been very stuck on the idea of getting to a gym today and I know that I can talk Wesley into going with me if I'm persistent. If not, I plan on making a slightly larger dent in my ANNE FRANK script and do a little bit of reading from the book I borrowed from Darcy...Er...Rory- From Darcy and Rory.
 
I've been very into big t-shirts and my Raggin' Cajun shorts as far as my current weekend fashion goes, so I need to e-mail Elsa and tell her to get me more, as well as call Matt about ANNE FRANK. *Shiver*
 
Also, mommy and Wesley plan to go to MUSIC UNDER THE STARS t'night at the Chamizal. I thought it would be worth going to, even if it just means that I fall asleep. Which is pretty much what I foresee happening. But it would be relaxing at the least. 

...It is 5:02 a.m
This fucking sucks...
I'm gonna need at least some sleep before class tomorrow. Or at least if I want to stay conscious I do.
...Now it's 5:04
are you fucking kidding me...?

Another dawn another day.

It's not that I am hiding on your roof or underneath your table
It's not that I am counting down from ten or playing hide and seek
It's not that I am thinking of the past and consequently feeling older
It's not like I'll inherit all the earth, if I destroy the meek
It's not that I am special
It's not that I am indifferent
It's not that I am cowardly or vain
It's not that I am angry
And its not that I am violent
I dont' objectify my pain
 
But I could break you if I wanted to
be cruel to you and
I could show the world your song
I could break you if I wanted to
be cruel to you 'cause
I was broken all the long
 
It's not that I am folding up this chair and folding up my insight
It's not that I respect you any less for giving someone more
it's not that I regret the things I've done or anything I plan to
It's not like changing after we decend will justify before
It's not that I am stupid
It's not that I am scheaming
It's not that I am searching for a sign
It's not that I am rightious
And it's not that I'm unfeeling
I don't expect you to be mine
 
All the long
 
And the things that you tell me don't mean a thing if you're not scared
And turning your back on me won't leave me weak or unprepared
 
But I could break you if I wanted to
be cruel to you and
I could show the world your song
I could break you if I wanted to
be cruel to you 'cause
I was broken all the long
All the long 
  
 
And it's not like every devistated end, brings a new beginning.
-Matt Caplan (Borken)

...I am not going to be able to sleep t'night.
crap...

Oh, and for what it's worth I've come up with some more backstage mumblings~
*Continues to frump on in a bad mood*

So Kayts Birthday happens to be on the 20th but since she'll be out of town, camping and what not, we're all gonna go out to eat this Sunday. Guhda. I just thought it should be known.

Lorraine also comes home tomorrow.
As much as I love my little sister-I very much liked(LOVED) being the only daughter in the house for the past couple weeks. Am I a bad person for not being thrilled that I'm going to have to give this up tomorrow when she comes home?

Wesley won his first set (Uh, tennis match) He's never gonna let me live it down, especially being that I told him it was going to be a mistake to try and go play on a hurt leg.
...
Wow, I've just been a negative bitch lately.

*angst* *rant* *angst* *angst* *rant* *angst* *rant* Carlos *rant* *angst* *rant* Matt *angst* *rant* mime *rant* *angst* *rant* *rant* frustrated *angst* *rant*
I think that sums it up.

So Wesley has decided he NEEDS go to California and play in a tennis tournament even though there is the fact he's really hurt. He leaves tomorrow morning.

*Yawn*

Nothing really progressive going on in my field as of late. Yeah.
OH! I need to pack myself a lunch for tomorrow!!!

*Goes and throws meat/bread into plastic bag*
There. All done.

Oh. There has been a decision on having mime everyday after class for the next three days. Darcy, should we have sent out e-mails...?

Hopfully the sand-man will pay a small visit to me t'night, and i'll be able to get to sleep before 2 a.m

*Night.

In a very sobered mood.

Just put a small dent into memorizing my ANNE FRANK lines. Did some character scores, worked on marking the script, etc.
What intimidates me the most about the whole thing is not the lines, and being on stage (Both these I am confident I can handle) but that I'll be working with so many other wonderful adult performers. That part gets me just a bit. I am lucky, no doubt. But it makes me anxious/nervous just the same.

Just got back from KING ARHTUR w/ Kayt and Shelby. While I do have many comments to make, one of them would definitely be that the movie just proves that Guinevere kicks ass...Always.

Natalia also called right before I got home...It's possible that I'll be going to another movie w/ her. Maybe tonight.

Back to the Play House tomorrow. Normally I have no objection to this but I haven't been sleeping well over the past couple of days and don't think I'm going to be able to come up with the energy to be pleasant until I good a good 8 hours.

*Hum Hum*
Uh, other news.

I am really having trouble deciding which blog layout I want to use. I really really do like my CENTER STAGE layout, but it is true that it is harder to read then this one (MURARD TECSERGYN layout). However, this Layout has been here for a while and I really want to change it. I like the CENTER STAGE one because it is a picture of the EPPH stage, and not just some random picture that a billion other people can use for their layout. Ahk. Can't decided.

So another weak down.
New camp, new kids...New ramblings that make me sounds as if I'm someone who's been teaching 12 year olds for the past 19 years of my life. Ah. We'll leave it at that.

SO the kitchen is finally done. It looks awesome, and it's odd how we are all suddenly spending that much more time in the kitchen.

Hopefully will be going to see KING ARTHUR tomorrow with Natalia. I dunno fer sure.

The weather looks pretty nice outside. -PLEASE RAIN.
*looses the will to type*
more later.
*Goes and sits in Kitchen*

Backstage mumblings

---So mommy and I went grocery shopping and the like. I, being as I have a one track mind n the morning and never remember to pack anything to eat, remembered to get myself some quick fixes for lunch at camp. So now I know I'll have lunch for camp breaks...Er...For at least the first two days anyway.

on a different note:
*~*~*~*Happy Fourth Of July!*~*~*~*

Went back to the mall again today with Mom and Wesley. I ended up buying a really pretty black t-shirt at American Eagle, and have now spent up the last of money. Guh.
Then went to Barnes&Nobles for a couple hours and did some reading. Lately, for some reason, I've been very much into reading Steven King- Which is okay because he is, without a doubt, a wonderful writer.

Still playing host to our three guests.

Camp starts again tomorrow. Am going to be happy to be back at the Play House and doing stuff other then going to the mall everyday, but at the same time I liked the whole getting to sleep in part. But I'm happy about going back, make no mistake.

I guess we're going to go over to Pams t'night and watch fire works and stuff. 'Should be fun.

Natalia and I have also named manikins in American Eagle after ourselves, and said that the Guy manikins we were standing next to were our Boyfriends, except decided that Natalia's manikins boyfriend was dressed a little too gay and that he was probably cheating on her for the other manly clothed manikin on the other side of the store.
Ah. I'm sure that's syaing something about our sanity. At least when were together.

Got to the mall very late today...At about 3:30. It is now 9:30 and I have JUST gotten home. This means I have spent 5 straight hours at the mall. Was soooo much fun.
---I especially like the part where Natalia and I started doing disco moves while standing in the line of American Eagle. (We both bought really spiffy shirts from there, by the way.)
What's odd is that we really only spent the first hour there shopping for clothes...The other 2, when we weren't in the movie, we spent walking around being odd. (Again, soo much fun.)
At some point in time we spent a good twenty minutes just walking in and out of American Eagle trying to get the cashier to think we were steeling things.
...And if I remember correctly there was also disscusion on the idea of why Yogurt can taste like vanilla, but vanilla can't taste like yogurt. Oh! And on the idea that Fat people tend to be jollier then skinny ones.

Before the movie we ended up eating Chinese to go along with Natalia being obsessed with Nijas and such. Also, there was continued discussion over the whole vanilla yogurt issue.

I also introduced Natalia to Gelato, and at some point we ate some cookies...And spent some time trying to scam the sample people into giving us more free samples...we also spent a good 10 minutes draggin ourselves through Old Navy because we had eaten so much and noticed that "we now walked like bloated ducks." (Qoute on Qoute.)

Ah.
So much fun.
The movie was good. The first time you see a movie it's good, and you sit very quietly and enjoy the movie contently...But when you go and see it the second time it is very much the time to sit there and make off hand comments on the movie...Which is pretty much what Natalia and I did the whole movie. We agree...It's even better the second time.

On the way home there was talk of getting together sometime next weekend to create more chaos and finish up our script. Ah. Good stuff. Good stuff.

So Natalia called, and we have both agreed to go see SPIDERMAN2...Even though we have both already seen it. The point is we're getting together. Not sure if Sophia is going.
At the moment I am getting ready to go to mime (And listening to my SPIDERMAN2 soundtrack.)
'
Wesley and I discovered today that I CAN NOT park next to the sidewalk. AT ALL. I completely killed the curb where I was trying to park the car when we came back from getting breakfast this morning. I'm thinking this is not a good thing.

It's back to the Playhouse on Monday. Which is too bad, because I'm finally getting into the whole SLEEPING IN thing.
...Plus I've just been really very tired lately. Tomorrow I guess I'll have to just take full advantage of being off and just sleep all day

There. I think i've finished it. And darn it, I LIKE IT!

Now what most people wont know (unless it's Rory or Darcy) is that the picture of the stage in the background is really a brilliant picture of the EL Paso Play House stage that Rory took.
Hm, Lotz of theater stuff in this blog...But I figured why not go all the way if I was gonna have the stage in the background. Anyway---I think it's cool.
There's still a little bit of work to be done on it...BUT I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR 3 STRAIGHT HOURS. I think maybe I should go sleep.

(Graci for the Picture Rory!)

Just so it is known, I am working on my new blog layout type thing.
Guh Ha.
This may take a while.

Wednesday I went to go see SPIDERMAN2 w/ Darcy. Awesome movie. I'm seeing so many stories they could follow for the third movie. After the movie Darcy and I window shopped, and then Yesterday Her rory and I went back and actually bought stuff.

-I got a new cool belt, this cool wrist band type thing, and a new thumb ring all from AE. They're apparently having some kind of huge clearance sale, and everything is incredibly cheap. I'm thinking I should take further advantage of this.
Also, yesterday, I discovered Gelato.
I also Bought the SPIDERMAN2 sound track (vindicated, YES!!) and a pair of awesome new jeans from Old Navy. Being as we spent like 4 straight hours at the mall, I think I did pretty well.
Then, Darcy Rory and I went back to their new house (emphasis on NEW) and begin to piece together the whole situation w/ mime. (Uh, more on this later) I ended up staying for dinner.
"That's okay, we'll sell your limbs."
"But I like my limbs"
"More then money?"
"Yes"
"What kind of American are you?!"
-Rory and Mrs...Rory and Darcy's mom (Annie)

After dinner I would have stayed longer but our house (On top of being constructed on at the moment.) Has also been turned into the Holiday in for two Boys (Ryan, and..Uh...I can't remember the second ones name.) And their Mother. (Beverly. She's cool.)
So today I'm going back over to Darcy's to finish up the whole situation fixer concerning mime.

Natalia called me last night...I wasn't home but she called. She asked if I wanted to go do something this Saturday so that should be fun. She also mentioned working on our movie (Which we have not yet abandoned) and whenever we are working on the movie...Interesting things always happen *evil short person look sideway* Hehe.

I think it's also fair to mention that I go back to interning on Monday. Uh...I'll post more about that when we get closer to it.

I think that covers everything for now.

There has been a new addiction started in the household. Keva Juice. Mommy asked me this morning if I wanted to go get some for breakfast this morning. This is the 4th time this week we go get Keva Juice for breakfast. Ah. The joys of obsession.
I actually ended up finishing mine, and then mommy gave me the rest of hers, so really...It might just be me who's addicted.