Murard Tecsergyn

Called Brooke,
says she still to sick to do IIR this afternoon. This means I've got no choice.
I really wanted to go back to Barnes&Nobles today, but I need to shower and get ready. I think our call is at 1:00. I guess there's always next weekend.
Speaking of next weekend we have a/c showcase. Oh, fun. I don't feel ready for it at all, but it should be interesting.
what else.
What else.
Cy rehearsal tonight. Yes. I'm nearly confidently off book, but I'll try to look over my lines a bit more before I leave...
Darcy, Mrs.Zeff can't drive tonight so it'll be between Joe and my mom for car pool. Do ya'll wanna pick up or drop off? I should prolly call you. I will.

SO went to Barnes&Nobles today. Spent a total of three hours there and about an hour at Target (Actually I went to Barnes&Nobles, walked to Target, than went back to Banres&Nobles. Also met up with Kayt)

So, I have a performance for IIR Tomorrow...The problem is...It's cutting it really close with CY rehearsal and I hate that. I'm hoping that maybe Brooke will take it for me.
*sigh*
::Has a funny dream::
Ah, that was good.
*Giggle*

Ah.
Except that was a happy "Ah".
So, we survive another week. Amazing.
Next stop- - -
Saturday.

"Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey"
-Train

*Smiles and Sighs happily*

AH!
MAROON 5 WAS OPENING FOR JOHN MAYOR!
AHHHHH!
God, it's on thing to miss John Mayor in the first place...But Maroon 5 is my favorite band. (Next to NickelBack) And I missed it!
*should have gone to the concert!*

Just to add.
I talked to Peter today.
He...Has...A...Cell phone.
I told him I was horribly wounded to the fact that he didn't call, but it was all in jest. I haven't talked to Peter too much...But this would makes sence because I never see him. Apparently him and Megan are still off and on and off and on. I wuv Megan. She asked if I wanted to do something with her and Sarah Sat, but Kayt---that's kind of up to you.
At least this weekend I want to go to Barnes&Nobles.
Ahsely invited me to spend the night at her house Friday for her birthday. Can't, but just the same HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHELY!
Mom and I still haven't gotten to Wal-mart, and lorraine is watching some type of show with really bad acting that makes me want to vomit...So I'm hiding out here. In my blog. Yes.

Is it just me or does one minute real time equal like...10 minutes parent time. I called mommy and asked her when she was coming home (she's gonna pick me up and we're gonna go to Wal-mart---shop and stuff) And she said she'd be home in 7 minutes...Well it's almost an hour later and she's still not home. Interesting.
Walked home for lunch today just to get some exercise. I've lost a lot of weight, but it's a good thing now because I'm meaning to.

OH! THe living room is painted! It's this really spiffy sage green, and I can't wait till it all gets done. (Main reason being I want my T.V back) Mom has also bought a really big rug for the room that doesn't have any tile in it, and it'll become our T.V room for a while.
*Wants a StarBucks Latte'*

I don't like that it keeps getting cooler. I mean, I don't mind cold weather but this is just really getting ridiculous.

Hm.
I've been on an odd frame of mind lately. More of a rebound frame of mind. I don't do this very often, but when I do it's not a very strong Sofia. It's almost like being drunk....Except without the hang over. Kayt, you'll have to call.

Got our costumes for Connecticut Yankee today. I 100% love my dress. Tis blue with spiffy sleeves beyond reason. Darcy also tried on her dress. It's actually a very pretty pink with a totally cool lace up middle. It looks very good on you, Darcy. Matt's costume...Is a curtain. -Please don't make me go into depths on Austin's outfit.- But the real beauty was Morgana's (Emily's) costume. Honestly, her's puts us all to shame. I really actually see the show starting to fall into place. The longer I sit on the stage...The funnier the show gets. Maybe that because we're all off book and most of the kids are starting to pay attention. NO rehearsal 'till Saturday. It's funny that now all of the bussiness in my life is dying slowly...And I kind of miss it. Huh.
Working on Holocaust scenes in Mr.Bowens, and I've just started reading Anne Frank.
I love Jessica.
::Random::
Ben Will be Working back stage for IIR Friday, which is also the night that I'll be over at Darcy's cuz mom doesn't want Lorraine and I home by ourselves all night. This is Okay. I get to go watch Darcy teach the next morning...Hopefully play some statue. *WEEEEE*
Took the Taks. Guh, easy. yes.
Uhm, have more to type but it's long and really wouldn't interest anybody but myself (and with good reason) so instead I'll put that I continue to rant for hours.
*Continues to rant for hours*

*Hums doom song*
I've dropped a pant size. My GAP jeans are now too loose to wear, and I'm going to have to shrink them. I'm just beside myself in this, because when I bought them (Sometime in December) they were actually a bit tight.

It hit me last night in rehearsal...Connecticut Yankee will be alright. I can kind of already see it falling into place, but we still have a long way to go.
:We open in two'n'a'half weeks!!!:
I went out and bought Anne Frank t'day. Since we're taking TAKS tomorrow I figured I'd better have something to read. (Since, it's either that or sit there and be board for 2 hours)
Lorraine has had Jessica over all day...Which is odd because she clams to have been too sick to go to school. But okay, Lorraine. Whatever.
Gram&Papa come in two weeks...I really hope our house isn't still in construction by then.
Mom says that they should have it painted and everything by the end of the week...But then again...last Friday she also said it should be done by Monday-which was today. Haven't talked to Kayt in a while...
Kayt?

"I'd like to think that i'm stronger then everybody else. But the truth is I just fall into ranks like the rest of 'em. Somewhere in my heart, for whatever reason, I can't seem to find who I really am...Just...Who I want to be." Her gaze slipped from the sky and caught hold of Zlatan's brown eyes. "It's a like getting a cut for doing something stupid. First it bleeds and stings, and all you can do is cry, because it hurts, and it's painful, and you can't make it go away. And then, slowly, with time, the pain fades. And then you're just angry because you let yourself get hurt like this in the first place, only now there's nothing you can do but know better for next time...I guess this has all been one big cut."
-The Murard Tecsergyn and Gracey Durstrum

*sigh*
Yes.
Because of "reccent" *events* i've started/continued writing certain love/intimate type scenes between Gracey&Zlatan, but 've only liked a couple enough to type up and keep. In either event...it's about time that I start writting again.

I find lately that song says everything I want to, only much better then I can. It says exactly what I'm thinking and what I really want people to know, only have no idea how to say it...Hence I've been posting lyrics instead of taking the time to pick apart my brain.


"Under a blackened sky
far beyond the glaring streetlights
sleeping on empty dreams
the vultures lie in wait.

You lay down beside me then
you were with me every waking hour
so close I could feel your breath.

When all we wanted was the dream
to have and to hold
that precious little thing
like every generation yields
the new born hope unjaded by the years.

Pressed up against the glass
I found myself wanting sympathy
but to be consumed again
oh I know would be the death of me

and there is a love that's inherently given
a kind of blindness offered to decieve
and in that light of forbidden joy
oh I know I won't recieve it.

When all we wanted was the dream
to have and to hold
that precious little thing
like every generation yields
the newborn hope unjaded by their years.

You know if I leave you now
it doesn't mean I love you any less
its just the state I'm in
I can't be good to anyone else like this.

When all we wanted was the dream
to have and to hold
that precious little thing
like every generation yields
the newborn hope unjaded by their years... "
-Sarah Mclachlan (Wait)

"Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
And taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What you and I spoke of
Others only dream of the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of words."
-Jason Mraz (You and I Both)

***

So mommy already left for her date with Wesley.
I went into my room t'day and tried on all my black tank-tops.
Okay, yes they're all black...But really they all have different neck lines and are made from different fabric and they all fit different so really...It's not like I have six of the same tank-top. I've only been wearing one of them lately. I think I'll save the rest for summer.

BWAHAHA! I'm lost three pounds and my gap jeans are really loose on my hips. This is good. I need to keep this up. Now if I were like Kayt I could just eat candy all week and still loose weight by sat. Damn you Kayt. (Behe)

I luckily got Brook to take my closing night show for IIR which conflicts with the A/c Showcase. She also said if I needed her to take the show any other night she would too...Ehehe. *Joy*

Amazing...I sign in to post about mommy going on her date and I only end up writing one sentence on it.

I like my five second attention span...

VOTE B.
VOTE B.
VOTE B.
B.
B.
B.
B.
B.

NON-CONFORMISTS, FIGHT THE POWER!

Okay so I was really happy because I wasn't going to have to go to IIR Performance until Thursday...But then I find out that I still have to go out and be at Connecticut Yankee rehearsals all this week.
It's okay though. I won't have to do anything Wednesday.

Went shopping with Kayt yesterday... I love GAP. I found two really cute tank tops in there. Yes, one was black BUT THE OTHER WAS WHITE! COLOR! Wait...Is white a color? OH well I'm going back to buy them today.
Also saw "50 first dates". Believe it or not...I'm going to marry Adam Sandler. Even before I marry Johny Depp.
Very cute movie. Damn romance.

I know this must sound weird...But I love waking up to an empty house.

"Wait, they don't love you like I love you."
-Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Maps)

It's about 12:00 and I just finished putting my room together. Opening night went well. Very good audience. SAW BEN! I love him soooo toooo soooo much.
Uhm, let see. Class tomorrow. Crap. I should probably get to sleep.

IT....SNOWED!!!!!!!!
The middle of lunch I look out the door and there are mass amounts of perfect snow flakes falling. WAS BEAUTIFUL! We all spent a good protion of lunch out in the parking lot trying to get our hair full of snow flaked..Guh ha, I won.
Oh, also got out an hour early today. IT was perfect. It only snowed for an hour or so...but the hour that it snowed we were all at lunch. Very blessed with that luck. I guess that was it. I think that was the weathers way of saying "Well, before I start to get warm...i think i'll give you people a little powder to remember me by."

"OH the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
as long as...something something soemthing...
Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow."

Ah!
It feels sooo good to get home before 11 'o'clock!
The show went really good. It was just an invitational, but considering no one in the audience was under 92 it went rather well. Tomorrow we actually open. TO the best of my Knowledge Tristan and Francesca are going be there.

*walks in back stage, stares at everybody in their costumes, glances down at self in mime outfit*
"Well I feel less then human right now."
-Me

Ah the joys of being mime.
not that being a mime back stage is degrading, but the damn make-up wont come off so when we're driving home and we have to stop at a light or something...I get some really interesting looks.
ON the other hand being a mime means I don't have stay cupped up back stage for 3 hours. I get to wonder the lobby when ever I damn well feel like, and that's alright with me. Ah.

I need to write Kevin an e-mail and ask if I have to show up at CY rehearsal Sunday. HOw'd rehearsal go, BTW Darcy? I think we have something like 4 weeks to open and still no word on the script. My thing is...I don't actually plan to sit and watch the whole play through until Tech week when I'm FORCED to be there. Until then I'm pretty content with only having to when I'm needed.

I hate how, because of the fact that they haven't finished putting my window seat in, I can't go into my room, turn on my music, and fall asleep. (This is usually what my routine is after I post.) Nope, I think I'm going to try to fall asleep out on the sofa...

Cool so my window seat is being put in as we speak. I'm also getting closet doors. It will all look very spiffy. The only bad part is I wont be able to sleep in my room tonight. But it'll be cool by Tomorrow afternoon so-yeah.

"Not like I need to depend upon anyone
Since I can see the lack of me for me to be at all
One more anthem for the know it all
I won't be standing up alone I better learn how to crawl
In ten minutes I'll be laying out flat on the floor"
-NickelBack (Flat on the floor)

...We have ice cream sitting in the 'fridge. Uh, i want some sooooooooo badly. But see Kayt- S.C S.C S.C! UH THIS IS HARD!

S.C S.C S.C S.C

I really miss being little. I loved being able to eat chocolate until I couldn't see and not feel guilty about it at all. I miss having mass amounts of energy to then burn off all the chocolate/mass amounts of sugar coded sugar i've just had. ALL IN FAVOR OF BEING FIVE AGAIN, SAY AYE!
*aye*

I think it's funny how cast really does become family.
Rehearsal got out early today. Boris came totally high on coffee and spent half an hour following me around like a dog-cat-thing as he puts it. Rebecca and I came to the conclusion that Ramona (Lead) really just doesn't like anyone on the cast with the exception of Boris. We're okay with it. We have enough fun on our own. David spent the 10 minutes prior to curtain drawing picture of me and Rebecca. Mrs. Braden Wasn't there today. I really hope it didn't have anything to do with Ben. Yesterday she said he had to come home early. We love you Ben. I was gonna call him today. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't.
Um.
To the best of my understanding I have some six weak exams tomorrow. Eh ha, like 've studied...At all.
We open tomorrow. I'm not nervous because-hey- I'm just the mime but there's a lot of pre show jitters from the rest of the cast. Uh, it's good to be back at the Playhouse.

So this is good. Tomorrow is already Thurday. I am fully able to deal with this.

Kayt. Call. Please.

Nose is really runny, and stuffy, and all the things that are not fun to have to deal with.
Rehearsal t'night.
*SIgh*
I'm sooo tired. I think i'm gonna try to go get some sleep.
OH!
My friend Aryn burned me the new Matchbox Cd. Good stuff. Now I just need Train and Off spring.
*Tired*

lol.
mommy doesn't approve of my sudden liking of NickelBack...So I told her she could buy me the Train CD and then I'd play that in the morning instead of NickelBack, Matchbox, or Bob Guiney.

Getting sick.
*Sigh*
I really don't want to be sick right now. I think this is gonna be the fourth time i've gotten sick since i've been back to school. Great.
Rehearsal was evil. I just got home (it's around 11-ish) Not that I don't love Jan and the cast it's just a sick Sofia, and a tired Sofia combined...not fun.

Got the NickelBack Cd. It's very good. Not what I thought, but i'm still glad i've got it.

Any new script pieces in CY rehearsal Darcy? According to Mrs. Zeff danny had mentioned Kevin had a new scene for ya'll.

*Falls asleep on key board*

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken. Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong. Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation. The best soy latte that you ever had . . . And me "
-Train (Drops of Jupiter)
So mommy is taking me to rehearsal today so we can stop and get my NickelBack CD.
No CY rehearsal for the rest of the week. I'm okay with this. I really am. It seems that they are awfully uneventful rehearsals. (Cy, I mean) I dunno. I always thought "sleeping Beauty" rehearsals were fun because there was always some one back stage or something going on in the Lobby (Ben playing guitar, Jessica trying to kill justin, you know all that good stuff.) But then Again I guess...Different show, different stuff.
Beh.
IIR rehearsals have been fun. If I don't have homework Bores and I take turns flipping Kevin over. Or we all plot the down fall of Bores...It's been good stuff. I won't mind that this is the last week of it though.

According to the ground hog (or so what I've heard on the T.V) we have a couple more prolonged weeks of winter. THIS IS OKAY! KAYT IT GIVES US MORE TIME! JUST THINK S.C S.C S.C (Behehe)

"Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see"
-Five for fighting (It's not easy)

Wonder how Connecticut Yankee rehearsal went.
Darcy...?

"It's too bad, it's too bad
Too late, so wrong, so long
It's too bad that we had no time to rewind
Let's walk, let's talk
Let's talk."
-NickelBack (too bad)

Mmmhmmm, who else loves Nickelback? Going to see if they have "The long road" at Target.

Yes, so went shopping with Kayt yesterday. T'was very much fun.
Didn't have my NickelBack CD at FYE, but thats okay because I bought myself a pretty black tank top at AE for $12.50. I'm very much ready for the weather to start to be warm.

In class yesterday morning we (Kristin, Darcy, Kathryn, and myself) were talking about how we all have clothes in our closets that are there...But we never really wear. So last night I went through my closet and gave my mom all the clothes that I don't wear (Not for her to wear, but she's a mom...She'll find something to do with them. I should also add I gave her 11-sum shirts...That's just about half of all my tops.) I now Have 12 shirts left. 5 out of those 12 shirts are long sleeved and I wont be able to wear them once the weather changes. (This leaves me with 7 shirts that are not long sleeved. All tank-tops.) Now, out of those 7 tank-tops 5 are black (and all very spiffy). This means I only have 2 tank tops that have any form of color what so ever...I guess what all this adds up to is
-I need to go shopping-
::thinks::
-I need to go shopping and not buy JUST black tank tops-

...

"It's been a while
Since I could say
that I wasn't addicted.
It's been a while
Since I could say
I loved myself as well and...
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do.
And it's been a while
but all this shit seems to disappear when I'm with you."-Staind (It's been a while)

*sigh*

So Kayt and I have decided to go to the mall. The really good thing about this is that I have money. YAYA! The really really good thing about this is that...I GET TO BUY THE NEW NICKELBACK CD. YAYA!

class went well. Jan brought my hopes up by telling me that she didn't think I was gonna have to be there for rehearsal tomorrow night...But then realized I would.
M Gr.
Class. M Yes. We got most of our blocking done in our scene...The most part of it was highly entertaining when I watched Carol and Kristin do it...it was just flat out tiring when I did it.
Uh, Rory brought it to our Attention that we open in FIVE WEAKs (Connecticut Yankee) and still don't have all of the script. Not I that It's any stress on me, who already has all my lines and my blocking for the entire show...But more stress for people like Austin, Darcy, and Matt.

I do have homework this weekend. I really need to start to work on it. Ah. Remind me to do that...Tomorrow.

*whistles*
HI-ho-Hi-ho
It's off to class I go...
*continues whistling*

"How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror"
-Nickelback (Someday)

NO rehearsal of any kind today. So what am I going to be doing? *sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

-I don't know what I would do without music.-

*head in hands*
Help.

Sorry I haven’t been posting as much as I would like to be guys.
I just got back from rehearsal…Guh, it’s 10:22. I am slowly learning to become a pleasant night person.
Recently mapped out my February…and cam to realize I will live at the play house and Radford. It doesn’t bother me though. In fact the Playhouse is my favorite location. Don’t ask me why…but it hit me somewhere during rehearsal t’day.
Luckily didn’t have to go to “Connecticut Yankee” t’day. You know it’s odd. I was counting the seconds until that show started…and now it’s here…and I actually think I could live with out it for a few more months. Still like doing it though. I guess, just now isn’t the time that I can take on the world and still enjoy it. Guh, stupid school. I really don’t think it’s fair to add that stress. It’s like I can’t enjoy being at “CY” rehearsals like I could other shows. Again, don’t ask why. I never felt that way about “Sleeping Beauty” or “Rest assured”…I don’t understand the way my mind works.
Also doing “Bang Bang you’re dead”. I’m a little edgy about it since I have to learn Sam’s lines by…tomorrow afternoon. A little stressed about it but all and all I’m thrilled to be in the show.
“Isn’t it Romantic” is going well. Yes. I really hate the idea of having to sit there every Sat, Fri, Thurs, and Sunday night for three hours all of this February though (And a part of march). Really want to do “Beauty and the Beast”…I’ll have to talk to Jessica about it. I really need to get a start on my permit. Class Saturday. Test tomorrow. I actually don’t have to go to school tomorrow (Mom thinks I should SLEEP…I agree with her) But I really need to take a test first period.
I’m not gonna get to go see “50 First dates” the night it comes out. I’m gonna have a performance. Damn. Unless I go really late. But I don’t know who the hell would drive me to the theater and then the chances that my mom would come pick me up at 1:00 at night are slim.
The over view, I like being back in the Play house. I sat up in the teck booth t’day. No real reason for it. I just like the teck booth.
Bores (from the IIR cast) Is incredibly funny. He has given me permission to trap him in a cardboard box (Since I’m not allowed to trap him in a mime box.) The cast is very cool. I really wanna do teck with Ben. Wouldn’t mind figuring out just when it is I am gonna have to go back to “Connecticut Yankee” rehearsal. Class Saturday. Did I already say that? Hm, it’s becoming habit to talk about theater and bring up class.
*Sigh*

I came to the conclusion t'day that I am property of Kids'n'co and the El Paso Play house. My whole February is gonna be rehearsals...
Am still deciding how I feel about this.

I really am an over-dramatic person. And I admit it openly.

It's an unusually bright morning...